A monkey’s wedding and the RSL health club
WHEN I migrated to Australia from South Africa in 2001, a few things stood out as being really, truly different.
First of all there are no monkeys.
None at all.
This surprised me because South Africa has millions of them.
Even city and suburban areas are teeming with monkeys.
Most common is the vervet monkey.
Vervets are cunning little thieves who live in roof crevices and trees.
They work out where the kitchen is and push a baby monkey through the window bars.
The bigger monkeys gesture and make ‘monkey talk’ instructing the little one to grab ‘this and that … but not that one’.
Vervet monkeys are not very big, they’re about the size of a large domestic cat.
They could also potentially have rabies, so parents teach their children to never pat or get too close to one.
The cheeky buggers also get their kicks harassing dogs.
Poor old Roxy our big old girl, was teased endlessly as vervets swung and provoked from above.
In my culture when it’s raining and the sun is out, it’s called a ‘monkey’s wedding’.
I assumed it was something everyone said.
Turns out no, just us.
I was with other mums at my son’s school when it started to rain and the sun was out.
“Ha! It’s a monkey’s wedding,” I said and got blank stares.
“A monkey’s wedding, you know … sun out and rain?”
No, they didn’t know.
I tried to explain it but stopped after realising there was zero rational reasoning behind the term.
I’d only been in the country a few weeks, each day driving past a big centre with bowling greens, tennis court and multiple carparks.
It was the Mona Vale RSL on Sydney’s Northern Beaches.
Bear with me on this one.
We don’t have RSL’s in South Africa.
What we do have are big health centres.
This South African thought RSL stood for ‘relaxation, sport and leisure’.
I decided to join this ‘health centre’ and asked the lady at reception how much the fees were.
She asked if there were returned servicemen in my linage, those who’d fought in some of the big wars.
Wait, what?
She must have picked up on my accent because trying to be helpful, asked if my ancestors fought in the Boer War.
They had, so I answered despite being confused why this was a criteria.
From the outside the property was so big and impressive, I was expecting multiple saunas, plunge pools and indoor squash courts.
It was only after having a good look around it twigged what this was.
There were slot machines, eateries and bars … if this is Australia’s version of a health club then sign me up!
I left understanding what an RSL was and thinking I had more in common with the silly vervet monkey than I realised.